2004 Term 2 Week 9 - Sorry

Things people say as they apologise:

Sorry – But I’m not
“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.”
“I'm sorry you're such an idiot.”
“I’m sorry, ALRIGHT!”

Sorry – But I’m not responsible for it
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean it.”
“I’m sorry, but its not my fault.”

Sorry – But I’m not as there are extenuating circumstances (I’m not responsible and I know where to place the blame)
“I’m sorry, but if you didn’t put it there I wouldn’t have trodden on it.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m having a bad day.”

Sorry – The problem is yours, there’s nothing wrong with what I did
“I’m sorry you feel like I attacked you.” / “I'm sorry you feel that way.”
“I’m sorry if you take offence at what I said.” / “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“I’m sorry you’re overreacting.” / “I’m sorry you’re taking this badly.”
“I'm sorry you misunderstood me.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

Sorry – I did wrong
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m sorry I broke your toy.”
“I’m sorry I said such hurtful things.”


“When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:
· immediately explaining why we did it,
· telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,
· bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem.”
“When you accept an apology, and then walk away knowing it wasn’t real, you enter a world of make-believe where you pretend an issue is resolved while harboring resentments. Gently, firmly, without anger, you can decline a hollow apology.”
Sharon Ellison

Also see this article.


A way of apologising:
Person 1: “I’m sorry”
Person 2 / Inner thought: “What for?”
Person 1: Describe action and affect
Person 2 / Inner thought: “Why is that wrong?”
Person 1: Describe attitude/motivation


King David and Nathan – 2 Samuel 12:1-14
Prodigal Son – Luke 15:11-32